Silliest HP:VII plotline (see below)
Everyone dies, Snape wins.
Snape dies, everyone wins.
oturns out to be the person prophesied to bring balance to the forceand kills Harry (the last Horcrux) and Voldemort with a handy root he grew in book three.
- Harry gets hold of a giant timeturner in a plot to save his parents from Voldemort, but goes back too far and ends up impregnating Merope Gaunt. Later on he pulls the I am your Father trick and turns Voldemort to the
- Crossed Lovers
- Hermione dies pointlessly trying to save Ron, who only has eyes for Draco who's seduced Voldemort, setting him up for Harry to murder the lot of them. Harry becomes the new Dark
- Velvet Fist
- A bit-part Hufflepuff teams up with Draco Malfoy. Together they organise the Students of Hogwarts into a mean fighting machine who defeat Voldemort's Army while Harry is off pissing about. The twosome go on to take over the Ministry of Magic and rule Britain with a ruthlessly efficient Velvet Fist.
- Hermione is declared insane and Harry, Ron, and Neville are put in Azkaban following their actions in the Voldemort War. However, the three of them quickly escape the maximun-security wing and hide in Knockturn Alley. Occasionally they break into St Mungos to consult Hermione. Still wanted by the Ministry of Magic they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem… if no-one else can help… and if you can find them… maybe you can hire The H-Team.